The realization

I've got this long to-do list of things that must get done this summer, I haven't done anything but watching movies for last one month or so .I’m not a very articulate person when it comes to verbally expressing things that goes on inside my mind.Interestingly, I somehow ended up writhing blogs here, funny indeed!

This thought is hitting me hard, pretty simple thought..more like a realization..but somewhere down the line it felt different......Life is indeed a gift, but we make a choice to be a slave to a system where "peace and happiness" defied in a different dimension, we purchase what people want us to want, not what we need to be happy and we make a living by running after what we don't have..and it takes away the chance to look back and enjoy what we got. this world is vast with beauty, it's incredible..It's just about how you see it and feel it..when I see a dying paralyzed body still wants to fight and wants to breath and  then I look at myself and heart becomes fulfilled with gratitude .My body is not paralyze,nor my soul..I can fly with my emotions, I can sing with my words..I can feel the grass beneath my feet..I can smell the green, I can fly under the blue sky..I can feel the morning ray on my skin, I can smile, I can feel my tears,...and I'm alive..and my life is a gift, its beautiful and it's special...and that's what I want to believe now; I want to appreciate everything I have, and I think that's what beauty of life,understanding the little thing around you and learning to appreciate them.

I’ll be turning 26 soon and I might have already lived almost half of my life..there are still so many things to do,so many places to travel, mountains to climb, books to read, people to meet,moments are waiting to defy.I want to discover every lil things this planet has to offer, I want to get lost in thoughts of vastness of space, want learn how the cosmos's blackhole gravity works, I wana go back in innocence of childhood., I want to know the meanings of miracle, want to see how god listens to our prayers and how he makes the tears disappear...  I want to feel and defy every moments I'm in, I wana lose myself end of a lonely road and see where it takes me in, I want to be amazed by the music and how it takes me to fly and to zero gravity ..i want to feel the deep inside my goosebumps ..I want to know how it feels to lose myself in a lonely hour in a lonely country,..want to discover the beauty of every face I see ,every colors around me,..I want to live, i want to be alive, be all crazy, lost myself playing football in rainy day and get hurts on my knees ,..I wana lose myself into those eyes again and ..i wana feel those butterflies .. Want to know why love is so pure and beautiful..I wana accept each and everything which life has to offer..I want to see, perceive, experience .....I want to feel alive and I wana go beyond this system and the boundaries. 

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Insomniatic June July

                                      

the loop, the long distance loneliness,

feeding my emotions through technologies;

the lonely ipod playlist keeps changing ,

 trying to make me busy for no reason.

the brain keeps puzzling,counting numbers and figures;

solution: hopes and the future,
but the future seems like a long tricky past.

 hope of dreams seem bizarre with their own words.

thoughts are spilling & my agnostic prayer fell apart;

Dear S ,you are the light,the only strength keeping me alive,

giving me the hope,giving me the peace,
keeping my beautiful soul inside me.

My wish was in vain and I asked karma,why ?.
Wait!

At night,out of my window, 
in the glow of street light I stare the invisible,

and the rain falls down,as if they need to prove a point,
 I miss the sun, 

I miss the warmth of hope...

A change may be in the corner,pretty soon!